(no subject)

[x_butterfly]

Okay, so this is like the cyber version of making the new kid stand up in front of class and spill all their deepest, darkest secret, right? How 21st century of you guys. This is a lot nicer than where I usually wind up. ‘Cause, you know, mansion. I don’t think people with houses like this usually go “oh, that weird girl who sometimes brings decomposing things back to life is just what I need. She’d go with my new vase!” (Please tell me no one is going to try to match me to a vase. If they try to make me wear something with flowers or butterflies or paisley I am so out of here.)

Is there like a no pawning the silver rule? It seems like the kinda place that needs one of those.

I'm probably doing this whole Care Bear share time thing all wrong, huh? Right. Let's start over.

Dear Diary,

I'm Layla. I'm from New York (city, not just the state) from a little place Lame People call Midtown West, but anyone who's family has legit been there forever still calls it Hell's Kitchen. Unless they've converted to yuppism (I hear that's like Scientology but less creepy) but then they're pretty much in the Lame People category anyway. So, yeah, I'm blonde. I skate. I only trip over my own feet like three times a day. And I make zombies.

Okay, so it's basically zombie roadkill but apparently people don't dig the Roadkill Day of the Dead like you'd think they would. I mean, I pretty much just sometimes bring shit back to life. It’s not that creepy really. Unless you’re like really scared of zombies or something, I guess. Killing spiders takes all day sometimes. That’s annoying.

Matt's a total liar, there's no map. But if you people try to get me lost on purpose while I’m busy already getting lost? I will figure out where you sleep and I will put all the zombie rats in your bed because that is so not on. I don’t know if rabies survives death and then rising from the dead. Someone should do a study on that or something. It could be a legit problem these days.

And Muppet Yoda! I know you're out there in cyberland somewhere! You totally skipped something epic in your recruitment speech! Like how you totally are a Kitty Superhero and rescue damsels in towers and throw the smack down on bad guys and wtf, yo? This is totally why Yoda got replaced with tech, you know. You keep failing me! This is like vitally important 411 and shit. But I guess I'll let you slide this time because YodaPhone is here to save me from your total disclosure fail. (I just need a Yoda voice ringtone for him)

Comments

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

[Voice to Text]

So, you know me, but still. Zombies? Do they want brains or what?

Also, WOOO HELLS KITCHEN!!!! WOOT! WOOT!

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

I assume they've got brains. I mean, they've never had their brains dripping outta their heads or anything. They just sort of get up and walk away. Or shamble. Sometimes they shamble.

Seriously? Did you just "woot woot"? Man...I remember you being cooler as a kid. (I'm kidding)

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

So like...you can resurrect people? Sorta?

Uh huh, suuuuure. I got teased for being a geek, remember? :P

[x-meggan.livejournal.com]

Hi, Layla! Welcome to the school. I'm Meggan, and I swear I'll never try to get you lost on purpose.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

But are you likely to get me lost by accident? I should know these things before I go "Hey, that Meggan chick would be cool to hang out with if I could find her." 'Cause next thing you know we're in the middle of the woods ten miles away and do you really think a city kid is going to know what to do when a bear decides we're tasty treats? Nooooo.

[x-meggan.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, I don't think that there would be an accidental case of lost. Not the extreme kind that ends up with you being ten miles from another person.

Ooh, bears. Bears would be bad. You'd have to just lay down and pretend you aren't a tasty treat if you're cornered, and wait for distractions...and then if you're me, grow some fur the same color as theirs and hope they think I'm a bear, too, and wander away.

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

Damn, the next generation just keeps getting bigger. My class wasn't this big.

Hi Layla, I'm Angelo, I'm from LA originally but NYC's home now. Welcome to the madhouse.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

They said there's like 7 other students. This is big? Seriously? I just came from a school where there's like 400 other people in my grade. Now there's like half a person in my grade. Other than me. I'm fully in my grade. Why do I have images of just Matt's legs showing up to English now?

I prefer Xavier's Home for Wayward Mutants, myself. It has a better ring to it than "madhouse" does.

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

There was about five of us when I was finishing high school, I think. Maybe six.

...and considering four of us then were the Bad Kids' Club, you might have a point.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Dude, your social worker was like right there or right inside most of that whole time. I was NOT about to be like "Uh, yeah and we're illegal vigilantes with an illegal super plane in the basement."

Also I've got that lo-lo-lo-lola song in my head and it's YOUR FAULT.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

So what you're saying is that it's Sandy's fault you fail at disclosure? Bad Muppet! There was the whole trip to the deli, I hooked you up with a sandwich that had more meat than bread...I thought we had a connection man! A deep, meaningful connection based on meat and envy over your way cooler powers and shit. I'm hurt. I never thought Yoda would betray me like this. I mean, sure you're the inferior muppety version loved by geeks but clearly inferior. But I thought you were loyal. Our meat meant nothing to you, did it? I must now cry and listen to emo music!



...is Lola a blonde stripper who wears a lot of dark eyeshadow or something or I remind you of her?

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Nah, it's my common sense's fault. Not gonna go telling a kid who isn't actually enrolled here about the X-Men and doubly not gonna talk about it with a social worker like twenty feet away and triple not talking about it in a deli.

It was a good sammich though, so I'll muppet dance for you. (dude, muppet yoda is better than CGI fake Yoda, btws.)

It's a song by ... crap, The Kinks, I think? It's old music like from the 70's, my dad has it on CD and it's stuck in my head cause Lola sounds like Layla.

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

Does it count as illegal when at least three national governments know we're here and have called on us to help in the past?

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure we're still illegal, they're just kinda loooooking the other way.

[x-penance.livejournal.com]

Not so much now that there is SHIELD for the government to use and we have to be, how you say? Subtle? ;)

Hello, Layla, my name is Yvette. I am a graduate of the school and an RA for the students. If you have an questions - or that map! - I am happy to help you. :)

I am sure Kyle might have mentioned it already, but just to be sure, please do not touch me. My skin and hair are very sharp and I would not like to hurt you by accident.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

Zombies huh? You also make T-Vaccine?

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Sadly, no. But on the bright side I'm like 75% sure you're not gonna get turned into a zombie if they bite you. And they aren't like super fast or after your flesh. At least I'm pretty sure. Maybe I should stalk my zombie next time.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

No contagion? No acid saliva? No creepy long tongues? Maaaaaaaan...

Also hi, Nico here. Did somebody welcome you to the Madhouse? I think the old guys do that to the fresh meat, but maybe they forgot.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

Glad to see you are having fun. I'm Laura, let's keep our future interactions zombie-free.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

I'm not entirely sure I'd categorize myself as having fun, but okay let's go with that. And, uh, I can't promise the no zombie thing unless you just avoid the fuck outta me. It just sorta happens, I can't control it. But it's cool, you re-kill it and it will stay dead. Eventually.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

Ok, I tried to read your entire post again but damn I can't focus, too many words on the screen and too little energy on my brain right now. I'm just going to roll with you being the Cool Chatty type and be happy.

Now you only need to convince me that cutting up zombies is good for your nails. Or claws, whatever.

[x-network.livejournal.com]

Hi Layla, welcome! I'm Sarah, and look forward to meeting you soon. :)

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Hey. Well if you see the blonde chick staring at a map and possibly swearing at it then you know you've found the right girl!

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

Hi there, I'm Laurie. I've been kind of voluntarily buried in study for the past week or so, so I'm possibly late to this. What date is it again? (It's been one of those months.)

Anyway, since Lorna isn't here, welcome to the mad house. So, if you make zombies, does anyone they bite also become a zombie? Or is this more a 'voodoo, one shot deal only' style of zombie? (I was forced to watch every zombie movie under the sun by my college friends, it was...an education.)

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Pretty sure it's the tenth but technology could be lying to me. It does that sometimes.

You missed Random Smartass Nerd already saying that. What is with you people and your obsession with that phrase? It's a little worrying.

Pretty sure if my zombies bite you it's just like a non-zombie bite. I don't even think they crave brains or flesh or whatever. Well, aside from usual carnivorous cravings they should have anyway. So, yeah, non-infectious zombie-ism here.