(no subject)

[x_butterfly]

Okay, so this is like the cyber version of making the new kid stand up in front of class and spill all their deepest, darkest secret, right? How 21st century of you guys. This is a lot nicer than where I usually wind up. ‘Cause, you know, mansion. I don’t think people with houses like this usually go “oh, that weird girl who sometimes brings decomposing things back to life is just what I need. She’d go with my new vase!” (Please tell me no one is going to try to match me to a vase. If they try to make me wear something with flowers or butterflies or paisley I am so out of here.)

Is there like a no pawning the silver rule? It seems like the kinda place that needs one of those.

I'm probably doing this whole Care Bear share time thing all wrong, huh? Right. Let's start over.

Dear Diary,

I'm Layla. I'm from New York (city, not just the state) from a little place Lame People call Midtown West, but anyone who's family has legit been there forever still calls it Hell's Kitchen. Unless they've converted to yuppism (I hear that's like Scientology but less creepy) but then they're pretty much in the Lame People category anyway. So, yeah, I'm blonde. I skate. I only trip over my own feet like three times a day. And I make zombies.

Okay, so it's basically zombie roadkill but apparently people don't dig the Roadkill Day of the Dead like you'd think they would. I mean, I pretty much just sometimes bring shit back to life. It’s not that creepy really. Unless you’re like really scared of zombies or something, I guess. Killing spiders takes all day sometimes. That’s annoying.

Matt's a total liar, there's no map. But if you people try to get me lost on purpose while I’m busy already getting lost? I will figure out where you sleep and I will put all the zombie rats in your bed because that is so not on. I don’t know if rabies survives death and then rising from the dead. Someone should do a study on that or something. It could be a legit problem these days.

And Muppet Yoda! I know you're out there in cyberland somewhere! You totally skipped something epic in your recruitment speech! Like how you totally are a Kitty Superhero and rescue damsels in towers and throw the smack down on bad guys and wtf, yo? This is totally why Yoda got replaced with tech, you know. You keep failing me! This is like vitally important 411 and shit. But I guess I'll let you slide this time because YodaPhone is here to save me from your total disclosure fail. (I just need a Yoda voice ringtone for him)

Comments

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

The truck was carrying chemicals that spilled. And yes, it does. burned my skin a little.

supremely snazzy of course. and I can box. and do gymnastics. and I'm learning self defense.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Gross. That blows.

Oh well if it's supremely snazzy then that's something. How do you box if you're blind? How would you know where to hit?

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

My dad was a boxer, I learned from him. But, that's part of what I am learning here. I can use my hearing to sort of...be a sonar like a bat or whatever. So I can sort of see outlines of things, sometimes. I'm still learning how to use it, but ask Kyle about my right hook one day. He STILL talks about when I hit him.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

...Do you're gonna grow up to be Batman?

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

No way. Batman blows. Rich dude with too much time and money.

I'm gonna be a daredevil.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Like one of those asshole stunt guys on Jackass? Lame.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

NO!!!!

they're lame.a nd stupdi.

anyways, stunt guys use tricks and things to simulate cool badassery. I just do badassery. Or well, O'm trying to learn.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Is that what you're gonna tell your guidance councilor when it comes time for the college talks? "Mister Man, I want to be a badass. Where can I go to college to be a badass?"

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

Damn straight.

badass and lawyer. I think. I don't think I can be a doctor.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Dude, did you miss where I talked to Angelo Gigolo about how you sell your soul after you take the bar exam?

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

yes. these long thread things play hell on my voice reader. I'll go look though.

And my soul is fine. I go to confession regularly. and mass too.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should talk to your priest about how you plan to join the other team after college.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

you're so funny. he think it is a good idea. my dad always wanted me to better than him. he wanted me to be a doctor, but that's not really going to work. lawyer is just as good.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

I'm hilarious. How is lawyer as good as doctor? One defends criminals and assholes who deserve to be behind bars. The other one saves lives. Hello? Where is the comparison?

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we gotta get you to stop depending on that though, cause damn you telegraph.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

but it WORKS.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it works for now but punching people's not the best way to get yourself outta a bad situation (well, unless you punch 'em in the dick, but knees are better for that, we'll get to that later) and you can't like, depend on a lucky right hook.

But pouncing a heavy bag's good cardio and good for stress.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

that's why I ALSO have my nifty gymnastics stuff. and running. and my cane I can hit them with. and Wade's been teaching me how to get out of different grips.

yeah, it is.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Run away fu is the strongest fu. So is 'knee the guy in the groin' fu.

Yeah, that's all him. Claws don't make teaching breaking grips a great idea.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

I like seafu too.

Um...no. Ow. the one to get out of a chokehold is pretty cool.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

What's that mean? That he telegraphs?

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

It means that you can tell he's gonna punch something before he even starts moving. Lex or Cal'll explain it sometime in the regular self-defense class.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

So basically he totally gives it away so anyone he's trying to punch can deflect easy?

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Pretty much. Most everyone does it but hooking punches are real -real obvious-

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Is that why boxers always jab and then hook? So you're too busy avoiding the jab or too stunned getting hit by it to do much about the hook?