(no subject)

[x_butterfly]

Okay, so this is like the cyber version of making the new kid stand up in front of class and spill all their deepest, darkest secret, right? How 21st century of you guys. This is a lot nicer than where I usually wind up. ‘Cause, you know, mansion. I don’t think people with houses like this usually go “oh, that weird girl who sometimes brings decomposing things back to life is just what I need. She’d go with my new vase!” (Please tell me no one is going to try to match me to a vase. If they try to make me wear something with flowers or butterflies or paisley I am so out of here.)

Is there like a no pawning the silver rule? It seems like the kinda place that needs one of those.

I'm probably doing this whole Care Bear share time thing all wrong, huh? Right. Let's start over.

Dear Diary,

I'm Layla. I'm from New York (city, not just the state) from a little place Lame People call Midtown West, but anyone who's family has legit been there forever still calls it Hell's Kitchen. Unless they've converted to yuppism (I hear that's like Scientology but less creepy) but then they're pretty much in the Lame People category anyway. So, yeah, I'm blonde. I skate. I only trip over my own feet like three times a day. And I make zombies.

Okay, so it's basically zombie roadkill but apparently people don't dig the Roadkill Day of the Dead like you'd think they would. I mean, I pretty much just sometimes bring shit back to life. It’s not that creepy really. Unless you’re like really scared of zombies or something, I guess. Killing spiders takes all day sometimes. That’s annoying.

Matt's a total liar, there's no map. But if you people try to get me lost on purpose while I’m busy already getting lost? I will figure out where you sleep and I will put all the zombie rats in your bed because that is so not on. I don’t know if rabies survives death and then rising from the dead. Someone should do a study on that or something. It could be a legit problem these days.

And Muppet Yoda! I know you're out there in cyberland somewhere! You totally skipped something epic in your recruitment speech! Like how you totally are a Kitty Superhero and rescue damsels in towers and throw the smack down on bad guys and wtf, yo? This is totally why Yoda got replaced with tech, you know. You keep failing me! This is like vitally important 411 and shit. But I guess I'll let you slide this time because YodaPhone is here to save me from your total disclosure fail. (I just need a Yoda voice ringtone for him)

Comments

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

[Voice to Text]

So, you know me, but still. Zombies? Do they want brains or what?

Also, WOOO HELLS KITCHEN!!!! WOOT! WOOT!

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

I assume they've got brains. I mean, they've never had their brains dripping outta their heads or anything. They just sort of get up and walk away. Or shamble. Sometimes they shamble.

Seriously? Did you just "woot woot"? Man...I remember you being cooler as a kid. (I'm kidding)

[x-meggan.livejournal.com]

Hi, Layla! Welcome to the school. I'm Meggan, and I swear I'll never try to get you lost on purpose.

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

Damn, the next generation just keeps getting bigger. My class wasn't this big.

Hi Layla, I'm Angelo, I'm from LA originally but NYC's home now. Welcome to the madhouse.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

So like...you can resurrect people? Sorta?

Uh huh, suuuuure. I got teased for being a geek, remember? :P

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

I dunno, maybe? It's never happened to anything bigger than a dog before. Maybe it's like the more pissed off or whatever I am the bigger the thing that decides it wants to talk a walk?

Yeah but you didn't say shit like "wootwoot" so you were still cooler than you are now. And dude, that was like elementary school. They didn't even know good insults back then!

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

But are you likely to get me lost by accident? I should know these things before I go "Hey, that Meggan chick would be cool to hang out with if I could find her." 'Cause next thing you know we're in the middle of the woods ten miles away and do you really think a city kid is going to know what to do when a bear decides we're tasty treats? Nooooo.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

They said there's like 7 other students. This is big? Seriously? I just came from a school where there's like 400 other people in my grade. Now there's like half a person in my grade. Other than me. I'm fully in my grade. Why do I have images of just Matt's legs showing up to English now?

I prefer Xavier's Home for Wayward Mutants, myself. It has a better ring to it than "madhouse" does.

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

There was about five of us when I was finishing high school, I think. Maybe six.

...and considering four of us then were the Bad Kids' Club, you might have a point.

[x-meggan.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, I don't think that there would be an accidental case of lost. Not the extreme kind that ends up with you being ten miles from another person.

Ooh, bears. Bears would be bad. You'd have to just lay down and pretend you aren't a tasty treat if you're cornered, and wait for distractions...and then if you're me, grow some fur the same color as theirs and hope they think I'm a bear, too, and wander away.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Well I figured you'd be there too, also lost. And we would be 10 miles from civilization. But it's good to know you're probably not going to get us lost. You'll go on "probably safe" list.

Can I hide under you while you pretend to be a bear? Because, seriously, the bear might think I'm white chocolate or something. I'm pale. I glow in the dark. I'm like a beacon of "Eat Me!" and that's gotta be really uncomfortable. And sort of awkward. You're there, pretending to be a sleeping bear and I'm screaming while the bear tries out my intestines for an appetizer. It could really damage our burgeoning friendship!

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Six? Like in the whole school or just in your graduating class? Because that's bigger than my graduating class right now, at least.

Oh, so you're a delinquent, huh? A reformed delinquent? Or maybe a "reformed" one? Serious points off for having a lame name like the Bad Kids Club. You guys couldn't think of anything better than that?

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

Two of the girls never graduated, so four in my graduating class.

Let's say mostly reformed. I finish law school next year, but I try not to be boring. Bad Kids Club wasn't really a name, it was just kind of a designation and we weren't really trying for a proper one. I guess it is kind of lame.

[x-meggan.livejournal.com]

Yes, you could definitely hide beside or under me, I wouldn't want you to get mauled or anything by a surprised bear. It might be hard to stay extra still right then, what with all the bear noises nearby, but I could warn you the moment I sensed that he was getting bored with us, if he was annoyed before. Or sleepy.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Sleepy bears are good. Can we just slide him some Nyquil or something so he passes out? You never know, he could have an addiction.

[x-meggan.livejournal.com]

That, or warm milk. He would pass right out if he was curious enough to try it, and we could run away.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

See so you had more than me. It's just me and Matt's legs graduating together. (the rest of him has to wait another year)

You could've at least picked a name so you didn't get the lame designation. You could even steal from existing names. Like you could've been the Blackhearts.

You're going to law school? So do you have to hand over your soul before or after you take the bar exam? I always wanted to know that.

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

I'm going to declare us the Blackhearts retrospectively.

After, I think. Or maybe it's a gradual process when you start taking money to defend people who do immoral but technically legal stuff. I'm going into human rights and pro bono as far as I can.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Does warm milk actually work? I mean, it probably tastes sort of gross but why would it make you sleepy? Wouldn't the bear just start trying to find an ice cube?

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

Joan Jett is going to sue you for plagiarism or something. But it's okay because you are maybe almost a lawyer! You like how that works out?

Pro bono meaning you will be the most broke ass lawyer ever? You totally need to charge someone or your life of ramen noodles will never end. I get that ramen is kind of awesome but it's not awesome enough to be every meal you ever eat for the rest of your life! See? This is how the soullessness happens. It all starts with a pizza craving...

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Dude, your social worker was like right there or right inside most of that whole time. I was NOT about to be like "Uh, yeah and we're illegal vigilantes with an illegal super plane in the basement."

Also I've got that lo-lo-lo-lola song in my head and it's YOUR FAULT.

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

It works out kind of awesome all round.

No, see, I've got it all worked out. First, if the client can afford to pay for the work I'd be doing for them anyway, I'll totally take their money. Second, if they can't afford to pay, there's Legal Aid work so I get paid just not by them. Third, my future business partner is a man with a plan and a trust fund and also my mentor and current boss runs the most well-funded and generously-paying NGO ever. I'm set.

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

So what you're saying is that it's Sandy's fault you fail at disclosure? Bad Muppet! There was the whole trip to the deli, I hooked you up with a sandwich that had more meat than bread...I thought we had a connection man! A deep, meaningful connection based on meat and envy over your way cooler powers and shit. I'm hurt. I never thought Yoda would betray me like this. I mean, sure you're the inferior muppety version loved by geeks but clearly inferior. But I thought you were loyal. Our meat meant nothing to you, did it? I must now cry and listen to emo music!



...is Lola a blonde stripper who wears a lot of dark eyeshadow or something or I remind you of her?

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

Does it count as illegal when at least three national governments know we're here and have called on us to help in the past?

[x-mandelbrot.livejournal.com]

So basically you've got two sugar daddies? That's not fair. There's little twink prostitutes trying their hardest to give the blow job of their life so they can get a sugar daddy and here you're monopolizing the market!